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| ♥ is unisex, comes in varying sizes and fits right to about anybody who has the desire to shop |
Recently, I
encountered a “share” on Facebook written by Regina Brett. Of the 42 lessons
that life taught her, I picked up my top 3 of which number one was: “Burn the candles,
use the nice sheets, and wear the fancy lingerie. Don't save it for a special
occasion. Today is special.” I don’t stock candles
or nice sheets but I admit, I may tend to pick up fancy briefs. However,
the “today is special” philosophy resonated with me instantly. My surrounding
world of friends and family has transformed me into a hardcore believer.
Ever since I was born, I have believed in love. Of all the years that I have lived; I have undeterred faith in the institution. I don’t know why, it’s perhaps the influence of the stars during my birth or a genetic syndrome inflicted by God on my soul. I am not the only one. Other than me, I see an awful lot of people who share this condition.
So, in the spirit of today, Valentine’s day 2013, I thought of sharing two beautiful love stories that I have had a chance to get to know.
Aaji <3 Bappa
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| Leela (Raja) & Vinayak (Bappa) |
After a
series of letter exchanges between Vinayak and the Joshis, Leela and her
brother dada mama, a Sanskrit
scholar, decided to meet Vinayak and his parents in Amravati. Amravati
had no hotels then, so Vinayak made lodging arrangements for the Hrishi’s next
to his rented home stay. The 20 hours of hectic railway journey (Ahmednagar to
Manmad in one train, and Manmad to Amravati in another) exhausted the Hrishi's.
When
Vinayak received them at the station, he wore a spotless white shirt and white
dhotar. Leela was in a navari sari. It
was probably love at first sight, although, Vinayak or Leela have never put their first meeting in those many words.
In the afternoon, Leela helped Vinayak’s mother make lunch and in that one gesture she had grown fond of her. Dada mama also liked Vinayak and a
wedding date in the consecutive month was fixed. On July 10, 1947
Vinayak and Leela were bonded in holy matrimony.
I know them
as Aaji and Bappa, who are grandparents to my dear friend, Aloha (nickname). Over the past
decade that I have known them, they come forth as a couple "in love". This year in July, they would have shared
66 years of marital bliss. They
probably have never said “I love you” to one another, but in their actions, each
day, they say it a million times. Bappa, today, is 95 and still very active (touch wood) compared to aaji who is 90. He makes her a cup of tea every morning. He irons her
clothes and then goes about doing his regular chores. These days aaji doesn’t
step out much but soon after marriage both of them took evening walks together.
The evening walks were quite a scandal during their times in the place
(Vidharbha) they lived. Society was conservative and people weren’t used to seeing
couples take evening strolls. Evening strolls was their
romance. Aaji loves new things, even today. A brand new watch, a beautiful sari
will bring a smile to her face. She lives upto her Arien sign of zodiac. A smile on Aaji’s
face will bring a smile to Bappa.
Aaji nicknamed Vinayak as 'Bappa' because Vinayak is another name for Ganapati Bappa. He, lovingly, calls her raja.
They are old world and like a fortunate few of those times, a match made in heaven. Bappa continues to be a very dependable man. He has looked after aaji and his family, and is a father figure to other close relatives. Aaji, Bappa have two daughters, three grand kids, and three adorable great grand kids. This family has been their world. They live a 100 yards away from each other.
Recently, a tumor lump reappeared on Bappa’s upper chest and he had to undergo surgery again. His greatest pain though was if something went wrong with him, who would make Aaji her morning tea? Such is their love.
I wonder whether Bappa was lucky in love to find a soul mate in his wife and marry the first woman he ever met! Did love choose them over others? For now, all I can say is, as far as this real love story goes: “Prince charmings don’t always ride white horses. Damsels don't always need to be rescued. True love becomes grand through simple gestures of everyday morning tea.”
Stacy <3 Donna
In a little modern times, 15 years ago, in NY, another wonderful woman, Stacy,
became friends with Donna who lived in Queens. Both of them were involved with different people when they met. Conversations of life and love over beer brought them closer. Soon, Donna became one of Stacy’s best friends.
However brewing under the beer of unadulterated friendship and healthy camaraderie lay hidden a latent attraction that Donna admitted to, one day. Once that confession cat was out of the bag, Stacy tried to trace back and reason logic of all the excitement of having her “alone-time” with Donna, their conversations on love and life. Upon reflection, she realized that she had fallen in love with Donna, as well. Of course, both of them carried the guilt of hurting their then respective partners but Stacy discerned, “I had never been loved so fiercely. And so I decided I was going to be selfish and keep what we had sacred.”
They are old world and like a fortunate few of those times, a match made in heaven. Bappa continues to be a very dependable man. He has looked after aaji and his family, and is a father figure to other close relatives. Aaji, Bappa have two daughters, three grand kids, and three adorable great grand kids. This family has been their world. They live a 100 yards away from each other.
Recently, a tumor lump reappeared on Bappa’s upper chest and he had to undergo surgery again. His greatest pain though was if something went wrong with him, who would make Aaji her morning tea? Such is their love.
I wonder whether Bappa was lucky in love to find a soul mate in his wife and marry the first woman he ever met! Did love choose them over others? For now, all I can say is, as far as this real love story goes: “Prince charmings don’t always ride white horses. Damsels don't always need to be rescued. True love becomes grand through simple gestures of everyday morning tea.”
Stacy <3 Donna
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| Stacy and Donna |
However brewing under the beer of unadulterated friendship and healthy camaraderie lay hidden a latent attraction that Donna admitted to, one day. Once that confession cat was out of the bag, Stacy tried to trace back and reason logic of all the excitement of having her “alone-time” with Donna, their conversations on love and life. Upon reflection, she realized that she had fallen in love with Donna, as well. Of course, both of them carried the guilt of hurting their then respective partners but Stacy discerned, “I had never been loved so fiercely. And so I decided I was going to be selfish and keep what we had sacred.”
They began
their journey together when Stacy was 29 years old. They had their commitment ceremony
in May 2000. I believe, both of them always wanted to be mothers and raise a
family. So they found a fairy God mother who had the ability to get a card
board box pregnant and had their first boy, Hunter (name changed), in 2001. Skye (name changed), their
daughter, came five years later.
I got to know
Stacy as a fellow IBMer. I worked on one of her articles and through the
reference links reached her personal parenting blog. I must say, in spite of being a
million miles apart and knowing her in a virtual world, their love for one another as a family permeates across to the readers. They have faith in their church and are
raising wonderful kids. Recently, Skye announced to them that she wants to
marry a woman as crazy as Donna and then deal with her like Stacy deals with Donna. She has a belief system that tells her having two mothers is a sign of "luck". Therefore, she wants her kids to be as “lucky” as she is. Her two mothers talked to her, and in a very neutral manner, made her comfortable with the idea that in the future, if she decides to marry a tall, dark, handsome man instead, it would be perfectly alright too.
This
parenting philosophy rocks (at least in my world)! A family in which a six year old feels
free to express who she wants to love and marry irrespective of any gender
barriers is awesome! ‘Parents presenting more traditional alternatives’ are awesome-r.
Unfortunately,
a large part of our world is not accepting of gay marriages or parenting or the
plain diversity idea of LGBT communities. This inequality is apparent even in a
nation like the US as Stacy herself says, “Today, nearly 13 years later, we
still wait for same sex marriage to come to New Jersey. We had our civil union
in December of 2008, but we're still waiting for true marriage equality.
As we wait, I look over at my wife and notice that her hair, like mine, has more gray in it; her eyes, like mine, have deeper laugh lines; and fatigue sometimes feels like a constant companion. However, our love story is still being written. I love her more today than I did all those years ago. Marriage equality won't change that, but it will at least reflect the commitment we made so long ago. I don't want equal rights as some kind of political stand. That's rarely why anyone gets married. I want equal rights because I want the protection that equality grants us."
As we wait, I look over at my wife and notice that her hair, like mine, has more gray in it; her eyes, like mine, have deeper laugh lines; and fatigue sometimes feels like a constant companion. However, our love story is still being written. I love her more today than I did all those years ago. Marriage equality won't change that, but it will at least reflect the commitment we made so long ago. I don't want equal rights as some kind of political stand. That's rarely why anyone gets married. I want equal rights because I want the protection that equality grants us."
Hopefully,
president Obama over the next four years shall change this. I didn’t
walk the Mumbai pride march in February 2013 because I have nothing new to say than what I
did in 2011, which is, “in support of a society that’s more inclusive and
accepting of diversities and equal rights of marriage and adoption to the LGBT
community.” Any and every pride march I participate in the future in any part of the world shall be in support of this
philosophy until the world over people are legally recognized to
choose, love and marry a partner of their choice. However, today, in spite of an unequal
world, as said in my earlier
blog post, Stacy and Donna are exemplary of the statement I made: “What impresses me though is against these adversities
people stand up for who they are or want to be, who they choose to love and
demand they be recognized by law.” They are exemplary of probably a million people in the world who are not recognized by law to marry the one they love.
I blame the fire of this activism on the genetic syndrome. I also blame it on my part libran birth that makes me want to have a just world. I don't understand the politics of 'marriage inequality' but shouldn't it be simple that anybody in love should have privilege to exercise a marriage right?
Turns out Regina Brett had a life lesson for all the losers with similar genetic syndrome. She said "All that truly matters in the end is that you loved." Kinda beats it right that it was my second in the top three lessons.
I blame the fire of this activism on the genetic syndrome. I also blame it on my part libran birth that makes me want to have a just world. I don't understand the politics of 'marriage inequality' but shouldn't it be simple that anybody in love should have privilege to exercise a marriage right?
Turns out Regina Brett had a life lesson for all the losers with similar genetic syndrome. She said "All that truly matters in the end is that you loved." Kinda beats it right that it was my second in the top three lessons.
I see the diversity between aaji, Bappa and Stacy, Donna. Some are cosmetic (genders), some cultural and some deal with faith. However, in the larger picture I see they are simply two couples insanely in love with one another. The love for their individual families is equally fierce.
I cannot change the world, I realize. Not with blogging or pride walking in random places on earth. But Gandhi said:
"Whatever you do in life will be insignificant, but it's very important that you do it, because nobody else will."
So this is my insignificant blog as a Valentine wish of fantastic health to aaji and Bappa in their togetherness. It is a Valentine hope that someday I shall get to see Stacy and Donna's wedding pictures with a recognized marriage license in NJ. That is the better tomorrow. In Regina's life lessons, "The best is yet to come." If this life lesson is true, who knows, in the year 2050, on February 14, I shall share my love story. It sure would be a hot, hot Valentine day ;-).
p.s. Thank you Aloha, thank you Stacy, for sharing your beautiful stories with me. With this blog, I express my deepest sense of gratitude.
"Whatever you do in life will be insignificant, but it's very important that you do it, because nobody else will."
So this is my insignificant blog as a Valentine wish of fantastic health to aaji and Bappa in their togetherness. It is a Valentine hope that someday I shall get to see Stacy and Donna's wedding pictures with a recognized marriage license in NJ. That is the better tomorrow. In Regina's life lessons, "The best is yet to come." If this life lesson is true, who knows, in the year 2050, on February 14, I shall share my love story. It sure would be a hot, hot Valentine day ;-).
p.s. Thank you Aloha, thank you Stacy, for sharing your beautiful stories with me. With this blog, I express my deepest sense of gratitude.
