Friends flavor lives

When I lived in Bangalore I made trips back home to pune once in a quarter. These days I quite do the reverse living in Mumbai i.e. make trips to bangalore once in a quarter. Someday this may stop, probably because Partha and Hemant may not live there anymore. Even if they continue to, it may still stop or possibly the frequency may diminish. However, its been 18 months, and I see myself paying a visit once a quarter and the simplest of reason I can think of is “I like being around them. Having a drink, watching some television or movies, eating, hugging, loving and then back to where work life brings”. I am a hugger, however I guess I hug a selective lot a lot more than I would hug others. Partha makes it to this selective list.

Last weekend we were bidding adieu to Vishal who embarks on a new life journey in London starting next week. A little more than five years ago, we met each other and the each others' personal equations have been variate. Little did we know that we would leave a significant imprint on each other lives. Five years is a long time to get to know someone - through their whims and fancies, tantrums, eccentricities, annoying reflexes and like them in spite of all these qualities. I like the three of them for the joy and color they bring to my life. I wonder whether Vishal would have been dispensed by an equivalent Mr/Ms “x” to make up for weekend coffees, movies, lounging and worldly banter? Would there have been a gigantic pet polar bear to hug instead of Paro? Would the relationship with Bangalore have been the same if I didn’t have Hemant as a roomie? In all probability apart from the fabulous weather it would have been a lot different and the experience far less fabulous.

I quote Susan Sarandon from Shall we Dance “We need a witness to our lives. There's a billion people on the planet... I mean, what does any one life really mean? But in a marriage, you're promising to care about everything. The good things, the bad things, the terrible things, the mundane things... all of it, all of the time, every day. You're saying 'Your life will not go unnoticed because I will notice it. Your life will not go unwitnessed because I will be your witness' ”. In the life of singletons, friends probably occupy a more significant place and you by default become a witness having spent substantial time together. In our case, more than five years. Of course this visit was as wonderful as any other evenings we have shared together - the luncheon at Toscana, gallivanting in UB city and forcibly feeding ourselves with dessert because Paro wanted to relive the ‘bliss’ experience (this is the place where they served the exquisite dessert).

However, when I looked at the trio this time, I know one was parting to fulfill a much sought after dream and in our hearts we were happy for him. The energy of turning around a new leaf is addictive and when you are someone’s well wisher, you can only experience the joy of it. So Vishal shall probably achieve what he is set for in London. Hemant’s already a success and I wouldn’t be surprised if tomorrow he’s running a retail organization. We still have big dreams for Paro and someday he will make us proud with his designer label so that when I am on a date I will say “Partha - Oh Paro and me are bum chums”. Truth is if anyone was to see the two of us in bed, they would think of us as having a fully clothed orgy - but that’s our relationship, we are huggers. On second thought, I dont think I would want to date at that time - I would like to be in a relationship! But again, its me - so I wouldn’t bet on myself to be in one.

Apart from the great life I know they will make for themselves, I shall also be a witness to the secret scandals - that Vishal is probably on his way to being a sex addict coupled with a compulsive disorder of analytics. I mean he’s a guy who would probably analyze his relationships in an excel sheet - the sum, the pivot, the formulas and why the end result? What should I have done for a desired end result? I can hear myself screaming at him “Dude, its a relationship, live it”. I may be the one who knows that behind that shrewd CEO who runs the retail org is hidden a pathological liar that knows to work the world in his favor but when is came to his first relationship how could he have been such a dimwit? I am often very glad that Partha sees a very different world from all of us! He lives in a parallel universe that is synonymous to paradise and earthly pain, suffering, pleasures or practicality are not incumbents here. This world has ideas and Partha is the king. Someday, when he makes it big, we shall celebrate his birthday on earth for having finally arrived. Although he cares like a utopian human soul should except for when it comes to service staff in restaurants. He invests his time for the people he cares about; be it shopping, cooking or simply hanging out. This dear friend almost spent two hours in the kitchen turning around a yummy prawns dish for all of us.

Absolute delicacy

I suppose that’s how we social beings are - we allow some people to grow on us. Sanjeev happens to be one of my oldest and closest friends and we have known each other for seventeen years. Come what may, I know “he will always be around in weather or storm and a bright sunny sunflowery day”. Its amazing to realize how Ruta manages to brighten up any room with laughter; how Nams will always have a courteous and kind word; Santy’s passion for seeing the world; Vikram’s love for cartoon creations; Bela’s unique style of art; Gauri’s affinity for disposable party dinnerware; Dhandu’s sense of practicality and reason; Ralphie’s movie recommendations; Neelum’s instinct to raise a child with her best on offer and monutli's of belonging and right; Alok’s character of affection; Kaddu's friendly demeanour while Muksie's goodboy etiquettes; Lekha’s silent comprehension of 'us duo'. That’s how we social beings are - we connect to the warmth around us, the people who make us happy and we appreciate that we met them. Some of them are closer are more special and I do wonder what on earth conspired for us to meet? 

Then again, we grow, we travel in search of dreams of love, marriage, accomplishment and success. And we cross paths, we meet some other people. The recent ones in my life are Hema, Shamic and their son Sahil. While I did saturday with singletons, sunday was spent with this loving family that I have just gotten to know over an year. Two very fine people who are raising a brilliant child living up to part of the success defined by Ralph Waldo Emerson as “to leave the world better by a healthy child ...”

If I try to search the deeper meaning of why we all met, I could possibly come up with some profound cosmic theory that most people wont understand. For now, the simplest reason I see is because “fabulousness attracts fabulousness”. Fabulous people meet, they become friends. Some become great friends and a witness to each others’ lives. Its almost a good working marriage devoid of the sex and the kids but a number of high drunken evenings. Then when you wake up you are hung over with the flavors of companionship, love, warmth, energy, mischief, sarcasm and a few witnesses that know pieces of you which you otherwise failed to notice yourself.